I’m back from my stint on the good ship “Intan”, and I’m now RYA certified as ‘competent crew’ – possibly the highest recognition of my abilities I’ve ever received. The course was great, we sailed out of boat lagoon on Phuket and then up to the national park, full of islands that look like they’re either populated by King Kong or bond villains. I slept on the deck most nights, and woke up looking at clear skies and tropical islands, apart from on the last night when I was woken up by torrential rain instead. The weather was good for sailing, by which I mean it was mostly cloudy, windy and you only got drenched by downpours occasionally. The sun did come out often enough to surprise me though, so I’m now sunburnt again, though this time it’s only on my face, which I don’t use for anything much anyway. We weren’t attacked by pirates at any point on the course, though this might be because they knew we’d been taught the naughty pirate knot on the second day, which turns a rope into some handy handcuffs. I’ll be drunkenly demonstrating in pubs when I return.
Before Phuket I spent five nights in Bangkok which I’d been told I was going to hate so often that I actually enjoyed the place just out of spite. One of the highlights was going for a traditional thai massage at the Wat Pho massage school. It was an hour of absolute complete agony inflicted by a highly trained thai woman with thumbs of steel. At the end of it though my back felt incredible, so I figure it was both healthy and character building.
What else have I been up to? erm… went to the thai red cross snake farm in bangkok and had a huge python draped round my neck. Bought a lot of flowery shirts. Went to a shooting range and loosed off a couple of rounds from a colt .45 (I was pretty good, which just goes to show how close to real life goldeneye on the N64 is!). Today we almost went to Phiphi for the second time as well (we sailed there on the course) but we managed to turn up at the ferry port after the last boat. I’m just back from a really good bar in Phuket Town called Timber Hut which was full of thai people out getting drunk, dancing and having a great time - making it completely unlike any other bar I’ve been in in Thailand so far, and at no point did they play the black eyed peas! Simply for that it’s the best bar I’ve seen in the whole country.
oh, and in Bangkok I went to Patpong as well, which is the red light district for those who hadn’t heard. It was so rubbish, just such an annoying, trashy little place. I actually got taken there by an american guy I met in my guesthouse, who said that going there was one of the best experiences in his life, and oh how I pity that man.
After the third or fourth night there I really hated it…
Heheheheh.
Glad to hear you’re still alive, we thought you’d been shipwrecked or kidnapped by pirates.
I hate SATAN.
LOTS.
Now THAT is the way to do a Competent Crew course, none of this Brighton to Cowes bollocks.